2008-05-09 - 6:26 p.m.
the curse
my mother died on 5/10/90 and 2 years later my good mother (ya know, the person who is like a mother to you without the bad shit) died on the same day. right around mother's day, which always makes for a happy celebration.
not.
every year i'm convinced that i'm not going to crumble into a heaping crying mass, and every year, i'm foiled.
some years for the last several since sparky has been in my life, i think i've beat the wallowing, but he always reminds me that no, i didn't.
this year the vigilance is home and she asked what i wanted for mother's day and i said i didn't want to celebrate it since i clearly remember how last year she stomped off, and never mind.
perhaps i do want it. the gift of celebration of mother, it would be nice.
we try hard.
